Real Talk

Sometimes life doesn’t go the way you want it to. You constantly run into walls that prevent you from achieving your goals and your idea of what you find to be true happiness. It doesn’t give you the right to take out your anger and frustrations on the world, though—it means that you take from the world what is in front of you and utilize to the best of your abilities to prove to everyone else that you are human and you are capable of adapting and learning and becoming a better person. It doesn’t mean that you get to torment the ones who love you by making emotionally driven and drastic decisions; it doesn’t mean that just because you want it it should be handed to you; and it most certainly does not mean that you get to send people to the hospital because of your choices.

I wish there were a way to show you that life isn’t about the easy way out all the time; sometimes it is about making sacrifices and giving something up in the present in order to gain and give back in the future. I wish that there were a way to teach you that your actions have consequences and that you need to learn that everything you do just makes everyone that holds you close to their hearts resent you and wish that there were a way to turn back time in order to re-teach you the morals and values that we thought were being instilled in you back when you were young. 

There isn’t any logical or rational explanation for the way things have turned out. It might be the result of some erratic gene pattern that was held by someone way back in the day or it might be because of the comfortable life you’ve had until now and you feel like you need to prove you don’t need anyone’s help to stand on your two feet. Either way, you’ve hurt me in more ways than one and I don’t know what it will take for me to get over it. 

Plagued with insomnia and heartbreak, I wish you could see the consequences from every little choice you’ve made. 

お金

お金は友達たちとはあまり関係はないんだけど。。。お金を貸してあげたらちゃんと貸してあげた人に返しなさい．Don’t make up bullshit excuses and blame others for your own stinginess. Grow a pair and just own up to what you’ve done and don’t make me feel like the villain for wanting back what was mine. That’s the last time I ever do anything for you. bros my ass 

Sem Ar

So many things to think about and to consider but I’m just so beaten down emotionally and mentally that I’m having trouble really sorting things out. I guess this is the only way I can attempt to restart and recharge. 

One - Maybe I do make a lot of assumptions; maybe what I’m thinking about in my mind is all just an assumption. But you can’t deny that there is something wrong and that we’re just both choosing to avoid any kind of confrontation for some reason unknown to all. I wish we could go back to the kind of friendship we used to have but it looks like it’s damaged beyond repair. 

Two - I’m so sorry, my friend. I wish I could go back in time and redo the past and everything that it’s brought upon us all but life doesn’t work like that. We all made mistakes and, even though I know it’s just a matter of letting time work its magic, I’m an impatient bitch. I want you to pick up my calls, respond to my texts, or at least give me some kind of a sign that you’re okay. All I can do is apologize and help you out in whatever way I can but if you don’t give me the opportunity to lend a helping hand then what more is there for me to do than to just let go and live on? I’m sorry that the night couldn’t have ended in a different way but it just happened the way it did and maybe it would have been different had I not been there but what can we do? Rehashing what has happened won’t fix anything and wishing that we had picked you up that same night would have just landed everyone into more problems. I just hope you know that, whenever you’re ready, I’ll still be here ready to hear you out. Even if you go back to the moon and lose your vision again I’ll be here because I don’t believe in superficial relationships. 

Three - My poor panda. I wish I wish and I wish I didn’t feel this way about you. If anything I wish for all your happiness and success and more. I just wish it didn’t mean heartbreak for me. Two weeks apart yet again and you’re still doing fine. I don’t know if I’m crying because I miss you or because I’m still in pain but I know I just want to have someone here solely for me and no one else. You used to be that rock for me. I used to be there for you. What happened and why? I always wonder if I were a different person would you have stayed…or if I never made that phone call if you wouldn’t have called it quits…or if after you broke my heart and I went out like a crazed banshee…if I never told you anything would it have made a difference? Probably not but times like this I can’t help but wonder how things could have been if the consequences had been different. 

Four - To my first love, I just can’t tell you how much I appreciate your company. I think it would have been even harder for me to be here right now if it weren’t for you. Obviously being on the same continent might make me feel better but for now, this will suffice.